hkoutsider

we only belong to the time of before sunrise/sunset

2006-06-08T18:38:01Z

i just want to take a break from all these ties and bondages.
release me. i am released.
i only crave to eat my mom's green beans dish in a saturday afternoon.
without the pouring rain.

english lessons

2006-06-08T15:43:27Z

lesson one

HUNDRED TO ONE SHOT/CHANCE

-i only have a hundred to one shot at reaching the far fetched star

lesson two

IN TWO MINDS ABOUT SOMETHING

-i am still in two minds about whether to give up or not.

lesson three

FORTY WINKS

-you look tired! take forty winks.

lesson four

IN TWO SHAKES

please wait a minute. i'll be able to help you in two shakes.

lesson five

SIXE FEET UNDER

my heart has been six feet under for more tha 10 years.

ice is cold. roses are red. i am in love.

2006-06-08T15:39:08Z

photo by madi

extracts from SPUTNIK SWEETHEART of murakami haruki

- i must be in love with this woman.she realized with a start. no mistake about it. ice is cold. roses are red. i am in love.

-the currents too overpowering. danger may be lurking there.but theres no turning back.i can only go with the flow.

-i always judege people by their faces. she said. meaning that i like your face. the way you look.

-sumire fell in love. as if she went crossing the field when bang! a
bolt of lighting zapped her. rihgt in the hand. something like an
artistic revolution. which is why. at that point. it doesnt matter to
sumire that the person she fell in love with happened to be a woman.

-you can feel the soft warmth of the sun on your own.

-your writing has the living breathing force.

-sometimes you are the sweetest thing. like a christmas summer holidays and a brand new puppy all rolled into one.

-when i am with her, that bone in my ear starts ringing. like a delicate seashell wind chimes.

to be continued

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fireworks

2006-06-08T15:27:56Z

          fireworks

        fireworks

        watching them together

        one sees the flash

        the other, sees the darkness

satorare is always a myth to me.

in a late night. we sometimes greet each other.

from malta.

he sends me sometimes songs. sometimes a poem.

tonite he sent me a japanese short poem.

beautifully crafted, as if the sea rolls down from the heaven

to explain my mixed melancholia

between leaving and staying

2006-06-08T15:25:04Z

how can i stop my itch growing

its spreading me all over.

mute.

miss c i need to talk to u. i need to.

being away is fun but not always the case.

i miss hong kong tonite

2006-06-08T15:23:59Z

girls pedals@sau kei wan

jaded.

inbetween hello and goodbye.

i miss you. i do. you missing.

seoul@430

fight flight fright

2006-06-08T15:20:26Z

my hair muse: jean seberg. i love you i love you not. i love you.

i fight. at the flight. my fright to fly. the bone chills. head explodes:

(dim light. computer is on. kept between two aliens. staring at me as if i am another alien. desirable music on the ear plugs:

George harrison-my sweet lord

Frank Sinatra-come dance with me)

"She asked. Lesbianism can be a subversive act towards the social domination
of heterosexuality. Why not. Yes. Lets go les. Don't swirl yourself
into the trend nor tradition. Choose a life. Choose liberation. Choose
your own identity. You(I) were not born to have the rights to choose my
sexual organs. But you(I) have the rights to choose our(my) sex
partner. Lets go Lala."

"He said he is a lesbian in heart. So I replied do you not fuck with
the dick. Maybe I have asked the wrong question and questions never lead
to what I tried to question. Never. Distance between body and mind.
Same as sexuality. Sexuality should not be defined according to biological sex but emotion gender. That is I think I am in love with a woman with a gay man heart. Yes master, you are goddamn right. You are
a lesbian in heart. Yes, I am a gay man in heart."

"Tags
do not help to tackle problems. Problems indeed always pop up due to tags. Lets leave all tags behind. I am me I am not only me I am my mother’s daughter I am not a travel writer I am just writing about travel I am not just what you see I am not just what you read I am just there I am. Amen."

i love my P.U.N.K girl

2006-06-08T15:10:36Z

maria from myspace

I LOVE

P.u.n.k. Girl song by heavenly

People say she's bad But they Don't see The way she is with me P is for the painful way she makes me feel some day U is for Utopia, the other times with her N is for the new wave dreams she had back in her teens K is for the kid in her, my PUNK girl She is honest and kind but in a way that people see As telling lies and being mean She has thousands of dreams but what they are I'll never know I hope I figure in them though I don't care if they can't see Just how great that girl can be But I wish, she'd find a way To act well, for just one day I don't mind if they can't see Just how much she means to me I still know what I will say If that girl comes my way She is hardened to hurt her softness hidden from the world But almost ready to unfurl She tries so hard to change but something always happens to Persuade her its to hard to do

afterwords: this song i listened to 10 years ago. back to my teens. i want to dedicate this song to my P.U.N.K girls.

can i make love with you (only)?

2006-06-08T15:07:13Z

photo by helena

striking. fact. ten years.
metamorphosis. third sex. dilemma. distortion of the grey
area, it is not the mirror. it was. it is not. ever and ever.
stiffiness your toughness. the bones. dont bear down on me. dont. i
just want to make love. the pull. no binarism. confused. dazed. not a butterfly. between
your legs. pleasure. non. amour. oui. distant fantasy. split between
two. can i just make love. not sex. but she says she prefers both.

i promise this will be the last time

2006-06-08T15:03:23Z

break me into two.

What am I going to do
I don't want to live without love
But I don't want to love
Nobody but you
Someone who doesn't want
Me any more, me any more
Someone who no longer wants me
What am I going to do?
Anyone else
I'd always be thinking
How they're not you
I'd always be thinking
How they're not you
I just wish you
Would give me the chance to
Never, never hurt you again
Why must it be that
I was too late in seeing that
In thinking my love gone
I couldn't've been more wrong
Anyone else
I'd always be thinking
How they're not you
I'd always be thinking
How they're not you
What am I going to do?
I don't want to be
Alone in the world
But want you only
But only want you

trembling blue stars- nobody but you

tired

2006-06-08T14:57:35Z

work is always the obstacle to mental liberation.

dark shadows and empty hallways

2006-06-08T14:54:29Z

the unberable heartbeats are hitting me like the invisble knocking during the midnight

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

ive said your name a thousands time

to prepare you d be there

and i wanted so to have you

and i wanted you to know

and i wanted to write songs

about how we are wakking in the snow

you ve got me slightly disappointed

just a bit and just enough

to keep me up another night

waiting for another day

but there is no snow this winter

theres no words for what i feel for you

its not enough

though its too much

why must it be always like that?

the tv screen is lighting up my room

the film has ended

each inch of my skin is crying for your hands

and i wanted so

stina nordenstam soon after christmas

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

night wanderer

2006-06-08T14:51:42Z

leave me with your pandora box.
i just want to have a quiet night with music and pouring rain

a yearning for a biological and physical revolution on gender codes

2006-06-08T14:48:04Z

your body is a battleground

babara kruger

picture and music by philippe bresson

@ a night of pouring rain and breathy wind

a little story between miss c and me

2006-06-08T14:43:17Z

the uncanny
@the photoshooting day of san po kong

i always want to construct a pure story about my sis miss c. for her
the rare genuineness around the universe. without sis miss c maybe i
had already strangled myself last nite when torments marching on my
way. without sis c i might never be able to know the fact that i live a
life that has ever been youthful and sexy. i really do not know how to
put my thoughts about miss c in concrete words. my respect and love for
her are more than words. lets write and read this neat entry just for
the sake of this special photoshooting between two of us. merci beau
coup.

he finally puts down his glasses

2006-06-08T14:34:08Z

i almost forgot that i would be able to fall for a boy these days.

until i heard erlend's new band again.

my heart bounces here and there.

its always a bliss to find something that makes a heart dance.

something to makes you flattered still with unrequitted one sided love.

erlend, i truly adore this whitest boy who has put down his lovely big glasses in the new band.

disco house disco house. i wanna dance dance dance till i run out of oxygen.

until i fall in love madly with that special someone in colorful moves.

look at the old erlend.

the obscurer

2006-06-08T14:22:38Z

she dances.tiptoeing in such slowness.pace. should i say
misplaced.every time i watch her dance.its also the time she watches me
out of space.like a maddening cloud. stuck in the core of my heart.
screams the ceiling it sibblings fall. stretch doesnt help. she is
stiff as if a sad child. she is incapble as a handicapped cat. i just
watch her. desperation. mumbles mimic a battle.she writes. shutting her
cell up. i overhear the shutter closing. the butterfly adornment
clipped on her ear lobe. glittering glittering inbetween every wink of
me.then how i wish i can branch myself all over her. but the bridge has
fallen. i wish it is gonna tear the obscurity between us.

about love

2006-06-08T14:17:30Z

purple lane@the biotanic garden of cape town

it has no beginning and no end, it
flows like life itself. about love does not deliver a message, it just
shows us things, and they are beautiful.

- Jean Barak, La Marseillaise,2003

i would like to speak about love.

oui.

it is something that draws us towards it and pushes us away.

lets dance.

non

the feverish agony of a lover kept waiting.

light as a feather, violent as desire and as obsessive as the passionate declarations that run through it.

join my hand anyone.

23.5

ABOUT LOVE

8pm joelle bouvier dance company

hong kong city hall, concert hall

confused and dazed

2006-06-08T14:07:14Z

its a truly rainy day

i will read you a story

2006-06-08T13:52:51Z

i will read you a story colleen
hums in lowness the quiet noise among the fireflies a story about lost
and found the thunder swims around your ears i will
read you a story about passion and failure the beginning of nothingness leads to the end of beginning the end of nothingness leads to the triump of beginning flavors of striking bitterness embrace the flesh of two of us soft as snow falling free us from failing free us from fainting flee me from feighing tonight let me read you a story a story